The Monster Mash

It's That Spooky Season

Hey there folks! The trees are beginning to change here in the Strange Woods. The mornings are brisk, the nights gusty, and all manner of strange orange faces dot along my street. All Hallows Eve is upon us, and what better way to celebrate than to redesign some of Magic's most ghastly and gruesome. Let's get to it!

When the TP Runs Out, Who You Gonna Call?

This card is so interesting. I think Cyclopean Mummy is supposed to be a reference to Cyclopean Tomb!

According to the dictionary, "Cyclopean" can either refer to a sort of ancient masonry that used large irregular stone blocks (thinking of Peru), or the word can refer to the state of resembling a Cyclops, the one-eyed race of giants from mythology. Just looking at the art on Cyclopean Mummy, we can see that it's a giant. Maybe these ancient giants built their Cyclopean Tombs out of megaliths that only a giant's strength could move. The flavor text suggests that these giants plucked out one of their own eyes to grant them a sort of future sight, which makes them one-eyed, like a cyclops. So we have this race of giants that built things out of huge stones, practiced divination, and mummified their dead. The flavor here is awesome, but it's not really reflected in the design. I think we can do the Mummy justice.

Mummy Mia!

Since the Cyclopeans are supposedly giants, we gave it the strength of a giant. We took Hill Giant's stat-line from my previous post and knocked off a toughness. We kept the signature "final rest" ability, but also granted the Mummy the future sight alluded to in it's flavor text. Now it can see things that may come to pass (from your opponent's hand).

Where Did I Put That Thing?

Yep, this is the Headless Horseman, another of Gray Ogre's many rivals. Mechanically, this card ain't doing much, but flavor-wise, it's a homage to a character that has a rich history in mythology. A vengeful spirit that rides by night, with ungodly speed. If the horseman seeks your head, nobody can stand between him and you. I think we can work with that.

No Head? No Problem

It's nothing too flashy, but it gets the point across. Trample is something black doesn't see very often outside of Lord of the Pit, so it's a welcome addition here. Although, it's paywall trample, which allows it to have slightly better stats. Now the Headless Horseman can mow down any interlopers on the way to collect your opponent's head.

Arise Chicken!

Ah, the legendary Frankenstein's Monster. The flavor of this card is on point. You get to pillage the graveyards for dead creatures, then stitch them together into a freakish amalgamation. This is what magic is all about. Unfortunately, the Monster often isn't worth the work you have to put into it.

Frankenstein's Monster 2.0

Now X decides the greatest casting cost of creatures that can be pillaged from graveyards, but aside from that, it's a buffet. The Monster now gets some of the traits of the creatures used to make it. Did you scavenge the remains of an Azure Drake? Well now Frankenstein's Monster has a pair of freakish Drake wings sewn onto its back. Awesome.

Portals to the Void for Dummies

Now, Cosmic Horror is not a bad card per se. I mean, this thing can end games. However, I think we can turn the flavor up a notch. Ok, so I think the sustained upkeep cost on this guy is to show that you have to keep the portal open, since we know these Cosmic Horror types must be summoned from the blackest blackness beyond the known universe or some such. I think First Strike on this card is representing what happens when you lay eyes upon a Cosmic Horror, which is that your head explodes from being unable to fathom what you're looking at. I like it. Let's build on that.

I Can Portal and So Can You!

Alright, so this isn't your normal demon summoning. Summoning horrific things straight from hell with plenty of sacrifices is definitely in black's wheelhouse. Cosmic Horror however, doesn't come from hell, it comes from someplace else, and how do you open a portal to someplace that's not hell? Blue mana probably. We kept First Strike, but we added a random discard, so now Cosmic Horror is like a Godzilla sized Hypnotic Specter, but the card is removed from the game instead (aka, sent to the void). We still have to pay the upkeep on the portal, just like the old version, but now it takes blue mana, and every turn it costs more! You didn't think you could just keep a portal that spans time and space open forever did you? When the portal finally collapses, Cosmic Horror takes its toll on you, and you lose a piece of your sanity thanks to its discard on damage effect. Ideally, it's best not to let void portals collapse in on themselves, so the careful planner will be ready to unsummon the Horror before things get too hot.

Good ole Unsummon does double duty here since you can send their stupid blocker back to their hand, then banish it to the void when Cosmic Horror slips through unblocked.

Throwing Some Shade

So what's up with Nether Shadow? In my head cannon, it's a hellish little spirit that sneaks through into the realm of the living when the souls of the damned dead are passing in the opposite direction. Pretty cool if you ask me. Three creatures is a lot though. Wouldn't it be cooler if the Shadow could come back more often?

YES?

Now any creature above your Nether Shadows allows them to come back, as long as they're non-shadow creatures! This means your Nether Shadows can't combo off of each other. The souls of the living have to be flowing in the other direction for these guys to slip past the ever vigilant Cerberus, and out of the gates of hell. These guys play a lot better with their boss, aka Lord of the Pit.

Now for every Erg Raider you sacrifice to the Lord, you can send a couple of these little guys back to hell one by one to keep the Lord happy for a while longer.

Worst Sunburn of My Life

Mark Tedin really outdid himself with Abomination. It looks like something out of Hellraiser. I imagine it as this sort of flabby, tortured creature, that walks slowly and exudes a frighteningly malicious aura. Like, don't ever let this thing hobble up and touch you or it will be bad, real bad. It seems to hate green and white creatures, and I don't blame it. We can work with that.

The End is Nigh

The Abomination is a force of pure distilled black mana. White and green magics repel themselves in disgust at this perversion of life. When the Abomination clumsily saunters into your realm, animals flee as if running from wildfire. This version of Abomination with its high power and double protection, offers an alternative to Juzam Djinn in the 4 drop slot. Abomination's powerful package is balanced out by giving your opponent the ability to stave off death by sacrificing cards.

That's All Folks

At least for today. Keep an eye out for more Old School Remix posts. All remixed cards are available here.

Disclaimer: This blog contains unofficial fan content permitted under Wizards of the Coast's Fan Content Policy. This content is not approved/endorsed by Wizards. Portions of the materials used are property of Wizards of the Coast. ©Wizards of the Coast LLC. Custom card mock-ups are created with Card Conjurer, credit to Kyle Burton(ImKyle4815).

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